Thicker Than Water

‘Yes, exactly. Altruism. I decided to be altruistic tonight, to see how it felt.’

Susan is Juliet’s lover and more recently her civil partner - a union that’s already done a lot for Juliet in terms of taking some of the rough edges off her and making her less likely to rip people’s heads off in the course of casual interactions. But it’s a steep learning curve, in some respects. Steep, and bumpy, and filled with sudden, unexpected potholes.

The reason why it’s all those things is because Juliet is a succubus, which is to say a demon whose specific modality is sex.

She feeds by arousing men’s desires and then consuming them, body and soul - the guy’s lust functioning in some indefinable way as a necessary ingredient in the feast. I mean, maybe she could still bring herself to devour a man who was thinking about his tax returns, but it would be like eating plain boiled rice or pasta without sauce.

To describe Juliet’s physical attributes is just a waste of words. She’s tall and slender with narrow hips but full breasts.

She has the pale skin, the dark eyes and hair and yada yada that I mentioned earlier on. But these things are accidents: she could be any colour, any size, any shape. The point is that Juliet does something to your brain. It’s a combination of her scent - which is fox-rank on the first breath, ineffable perfume on the second - and her hypnotic gaze. Two seconds after you look at her you can’t remember the face of any other woman you ever met, and you don’t want to. She rewires your perceptions, painlessly, effortlessly: she becomes your Eve, your Helen, your long-lost and looked-for harbour.

Which until recently was an exquisite adaptation to a predatory lifestyle - as brutally functional as a tiger’s claws or a shark’s teeth. Now, as I think I already said, she’s taken thed he’s tae pledge and wouldn’t rend and eat you if you asked her to. It would just get her in trouble with her missus.

‘Well, how was it for you?’ I asked, clearing my throat which felt a little dry.

‘The altruism, I mean?’

‘Interesting,’ said Juliet. ‘And not unpleasant. But I think a little of it may go a long way, Castor.’

‘Meaning . . . ?’"

"‘Meaning I’ve got a full caseload, and if you need any more favours in the days or weeks to come don’t hesitate to ask someone else. And conversely, if I should need a second gun on anything I attempt I expect you to drop your own affairs and be available to me at any moment of the day or night.